I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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