omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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