so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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