i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
