Sponge bath it is.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize