So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
