he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
