I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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