Plan B is the new Plan A
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
where does the pee come out of this thing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
