Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
