She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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