grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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