when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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