Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
