if you like me you must not know who I am
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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