Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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