sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize