can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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