her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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