this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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