he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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