i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
