You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Liz is crying about burritos again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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