The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
