You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
