How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
