just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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