I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Randomize
