He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
