i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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