How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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