I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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