you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
