I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sacagawea was the original milf.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
