used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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