that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE