i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?