You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?