Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

Fav 4 934 3100
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

Fav 126 23899 2212
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

Fav 21 11993 1290
share tweet
(252): View more from North Carolina

he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.

Fav 45 9521 3132
share tweet
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

Fav 20 4317 1404
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.

Fav 9 1681 2701
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

Fav 4 2643 951
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

Fav 16 799 1225
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge

Fav 3 21 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT