u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize