God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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