sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
