he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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