He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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