he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
