So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So here I am, sexting at work.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
