Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Mom said you looked used
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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