Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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