so that wasnt chicken after all
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
