Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
