I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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