Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
