I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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