i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
