i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize