Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
