hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize