you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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