He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
