Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize